The fun of pointless sports debates
During my sophomore year of high school I had a long-running debate with one of the seniors who was on the varsity baseball team with me. The debate consisted of whether or not I was faster then a Major League catcher. I was/am of the belief that I was indeed faster then some, maybe even many (but certainly not all) catchers in the big leagues and he held the position that I was full of myself and that that was impossible.
Now for anyone who knows my athletic prowess it should be quite obvious that he was wrong and I was right (I'm really fast) but thats not really the point. The point is that we were having one of those arguments that sports sometimes inspire, ones that can't really be proven one way or the other (its unlikely that I would ever get a chance to challenge a professional catcher to a foot race. Have no doubt that I'd win though if I got the chance).
I was reminded of this debate I had lo those many years ago while reading Gene Weingarten's column in the Washington Post Magazine this part weekend:
Neither Dave Barry nor I recalls for sure when and where we first had this discussion, which is not surprising inasmuch as beer was involved. But it came down to my assertion that basketball free-throw shooting takes no particular athletic ability, followed by Dave's contention that I am an imbecile, followed by my declaration that if I took a year off and practiced all day, every day, I could then defeat the NBA's best free-throw shooter in head-to-head competition, followed by Dave's assessment that we definitely needed another beer.
Weingarton then goes on to write:
Then, a year ago, I got an e-mail from an author named Todd Gallagher. Through writerly channels, Todd had learned about my boast. He dared me to put up or shut up.
Todd was writing a book that empirically answers idiot sports bets like mine by actually staging them. The working title is Andy Roddick Beat Me With a Frying Pan, and, yes, Roddick really did beat him in a tennis match armed with a frying pan instead of a racket. The book is due out this summer.
If I did the training, Todd said, his publisher would hook me up with an NBA star for an official shootout.
It was definitely tempting: On the one hand, I would have to leave my job, endure a year of lonely, mind-numbing, repetitive, non-toning non-exercise at zero pay for some other guy's book. On the other hand, I could shut Dave up for good.
In the end Weingarton passes up the opportunity and Gallagher's editor takes on the Wizards' DeShawn Stevenson and loses. As Weingarton points out though, that wasn't exactly the scenario that he had posited. I'll let the email Dave Barry sent Weingarton serve as the last word here:
"So, as I understand it, you are encouraged because a guy who practiced 'only three months' got beat by a mediocre NBA free-throw shooter who was not taking it seriously. Okay! My feeling is that you could practice for 10 years and still not beat a good NBA free-throw shooter who was trying, any more than you could practice pole vaulting for 10 years and beat a good pole vaulter. Also, you are — let's not kid ourselves here — a loser."
Holla at me