Citizen Jake

Lionel Messi 4 Arsenal 1. He's like, really really good. Bring on Inter. Vamos Barca. #fb #
Really hope someone remembers to ask Sarah Palin for her thoughts on Justice Stevens retiring. #fb #
I hate Mike Gonzalez and never want to see him again. That is all. #fb #

AHAHAHA SEIU/ACORN thugs are forcing me to brush my teeth! Palin & Beck were right about healthcare! Get govt' out of my dental hygiene! #fb #
Query: When Ke$a talks about boys who look like Mick Jagger, is she talking about Jagger now or Jagger 30 years ago? Asking for a friend #fb #
Mexico here we [...]

Pretty sure Jordan is just making all this up as he goes along. This shit ain't planned. #fb #

ESPN must have a rule where whenever they talk about the Yankees they MUST show them playing the O's in the b-roll footage. #fb #
Off to L'Acadeemie de Cuisine for cooking class. #fb #
Anyone but f'ing Crosby. #fb #

I love it when people tell jokes about using teleprompters….while using a teleprompter. Oh CPAC, don't you ever change. #fb #
My flight seemed to be composed entirely of a casting call for 16 & Pregnent, none of whom had never flown before. A joy. #fb #
This is JUST like The Hangover #fb #
This is turning [...]

People of DC (particularly cabs): do not fucking drive down R St. between 18th & 19th. You will get stuck. I am tired of helping you. #fb #
Happiest of birthdays to Melissa Ann Oliver, a very small person and the greatest girlfriend in the whole wide world. Love you! #fb #

Michael Jackson's kids look EXACTLY like him. Spitting image, am I right? #
Is it cool if you wish Desmond loved you as much as he loves Penny? Asking for a friend. #fb #
2 rescue missions completed. Dug several cars out of snow, including our own 2x. Picked up more firewood. 2+ feet of snow and [...]

This weekend brought to you by Jose Andres. #
Nothing more delicious then slightly expired milk. I prefer "seasoned" to "expired" anyway. "Sell by" doesn't mean "drink by". #

Freebird indeed. #

You win this round Top Chef Quickfire Cookbook. But tomorrow we battle again. #
Impossible not to love Conan's monologues sticking it to NBC. #
Mazel tov Tony & Shannon! May you live happily ever after. #